Hey my beloved readers!
You all know how much I love this ever growing community here. This community means a lot to me and your valuable input and insights make all the difference for other readers here and for me as well. Keeping that in mind, today, I am writing a different kind of a post where you get to input your views on how to overcome blogging shyness and shyness as a whole.
Shyness is a hindrance to success, not just in blogging but success in any walks of life. The extent of shyness can fluctuate from normal, mild all the way to extreme but everyone suffers from this to some degree.
I know I have said that there is nothing wrong with being a lurker. But there comes a point in every blogger’s life where they cannot be just a lurker anymore. We all know blogging success is only possible when we build relationships with other bloggers. And being a lurker all the time is not going to help you build relationships. Furthermore, if you are lurking just because you are shy then this is going to be a huge obstacle for your blogging success.
Majority of people that first step into this blogging arena are shy about reaching out and networking. I know there are some pro-marketers who already know the importance of building relations before they start a blog and they do not show any kind of shyness in reaching out. And there are those few to whom conversations comes easy and they enjoy networking with others. For some however, it takes a while to get their head into it. It takes them time to realize that there is no success with being shy about reaching out.
Blogging shyness is merely a term used to represent bloggers but the underlying problem in this is the shyness as a whole.
Here are some random thoughts, I brainstormed and came up with to help you invigorate your thoughts and insights on how to overcome shyness:
- There are many reasons as to why someone could be shy. It could be the lifestyle, surroundings, how one grew up, how one was ignored while growing up and a whole bunch of other factors.
- Not being too social also leads to this problem. Talking about being social, I don’t consider myself as an overly social person. That problem led me to be a lurker for a long time.
- Insecurity of not being good enough could be another factor. How you think about yourself and what you know can also be the cause of the shyness. I mean if you think that you have nothing worthwhile to contribute, you might think why risk that embarrassment.
- Fear can also add significantly as to why someone becomes shy. Fear of being laughed at, made fun of, being embarrassed all are pretty much the insecurity that is on your head.
- The fear that leads to shyness might also arise from your previous bad experiences, which resulted into the lack of your confidence. You might have tried to converse with a blogger in your niche but did not get any reply. Now incidences like these only need to happen couple of times for someone to think twice before approaching someone who they perceive as better.
- How often do you get nervous when confronted by a blogger or someone else that you perceive as better than you? We get shy due to being nervous when surrounded by people we do not know. Shit! we even get nervous around people that we know as well, like family members and classmates. But why?
- Our age can be a factor in shyness. The older we get the more comfortable we are with ourselves. As we age, we learn through experience that these are nothing but just our emotions playing around in our head.
- Extreme shyness is considered as a disorder so in that case you might need some counseling and professional help.
Benefits of overcoming shyness:
Do you ever think about how valuable your thoughts and insights are to others? No matter how thoughtful you think you are, unless you can really share and help others what is the point in having all that great insights in the first place? If you think about it, overcoming shyness is not only helping yourself but helping others as well. Besides, when you overcome shyness you will be comfortable with yourself and hence more confident.
Overcoming shyness also makes you more social – which may lead to more connection and obviously, more opportunities for you to be found and more leads and clients for your business.
So, here is the question I want to ask you:
- How do you overcome blogging shyness and the shyness as a whole?
Please share your valuable thoughts and insights in the comments section. I have something planned up for the next post here but first I would love to hear your insights on this. It would be valuable for the whole community.
Let’s do this thing!
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Before you go...
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I created this blog to chronicle the success and failures of my various online endeavors and to share with you the knowledge I gain along the way... 
As you know I am not a shy person at all. Age has helped increase self confidence here. One of the greatest things to happen to me that helped decrease shyness was having to go on stage as a child in plays. Eventually I worked my way up to lead characters. That for many of us blew all the shyness out the door. We learned how to make mistakes in front of people and keep on trucking. We learned how to ad lib. We learned how to fall on our faces and laugh about it, sometimes with our audiences not ever knowing the difference until we told them. Biggest, we learned how to get right back out there and do it all over again.
Mercy buckets, Dawg.
Right on Scannerman.
Your comments really emphasize the facts I talk about in the post. You know overcoming shyness has a lot to do with our maturity, which we all gain as we age. How we were during our childhood and incidence that happen when we were kids also play a role.
Thank you for sharing your experience my friend. There is always something for me to learn from your experience. (O:
To me, shyness comes from not being confident. When I don’t know about a subject, I get quiet and shy. But if I know what I’m talking about, I open up and voice my opinions. It comes down to learning your niche. Understanding it. The more you know, the more you talk.
Richard Scott recently posted..What Diamond Quality Is It?
Now, that is right on the money!
However just because someone knows about something inside out, doesn’t mean the shyness just goes away. I do believe the experience factor is huge in kicking the shyness out. One more reason to get to the underlying problems today and start taking action (O:
Appreciate that Richard.
Hi Adam
For me practice the issue that you are shy with and it will become a habit and habits are automatic reaction which does not have any shyness.
Also something that you are doing for the first time makes you feel shy, but it disappears gradually.
So, once you have decided, to do something with postitive action it will go away because you are committed to it.
Good post with a new idea, can bring in lots of conversational comments.
All the best
Fran A
Fran the Online writer recently posted..Health Awareness Role For Living A healthy Life
Fran,
That is a gem my friend. Practicing till what you have practiced comes natural to you. It becomes a habit (O:
Hell yeah!
What Richard says is meat. Know your subject matter. The better you know it, the better off you are and sure the shyness goes away. Remember we make mistakes – we are human – wouldn’t have it any other way.
Make your eating your words a part of your shyness defeat mechanism. Open mouth, insert foot, and chew vigorously. Follow that with a good drink of that lemon you just made and move forward positively toward that ice cream.
The saying abut people learning from their mistakes is mostly BS. Successful folks learn from their successes while putting their mistakes behind them.
Scannerman,
Your insights are always great even though they seem to stir some controversy…haha..
I wonder what others think about what you said on people learning from their mistake is mostly BS…
Opinions anyone…?
Interesting post – one of the main observations from my work with shy people is that they overly worry about what other people think of them. Usually, for no good reason! It’s very rare that they’ve experienced major trauma from having made a total idiot of themselves – normally, it’s their own perception of this that gets in the way.
As ScannerMan said about falling on your face and your audience not knowing anything about it! In most instances where you feel you’ve made a mistake, the people observing you have a different frame of reference and don’t share in your thinking.
I have to disagree about people learning from their mistakes being BS – this saying is a way of reframing your mistakes so they don’t cause you to de-rail. Mistakes teach you to do it differently next time!
Dan | Confidence Course recently posted..Build Work Profile Series – #2 Positioning
Perception – It is amazing how this can turn out to be a double edged sword huh!
Definitely agree with you on the part about learning from our mistake Dan!
Appreciate your insights man. I have been reading some of your thoughts on being confident…Awesome stuff!
Good post,this is a kind of work where we can attach with many but sometime it’s very difficult to handle because when we are not agree form blogger then he will start to make argue in that condition what should i do, so i think at that time only our confidence level will work.
Sam,
As majority of the reader here agree, it is the matter of being confident. But I also want to add that we have to practice to be comfortable and confident at the same time..More on that on the other part of this series (O:
Hope to see you around my friend!
Hm…i thought that online people didn’t have the shyness issue, because you can create a new and fresh personality for yourself. I think it’s easier to express something in writing, because no matter what you wrote you can delete it and start fresh. So no more shyness, be fearless!
Shyness could be prevalent everywhere; Online and offline. Online however it could be deadlier especially for newbie bloggers. For instance, with many people that want to start a blog, there is a mindset that blogging is all about writing posts…but that is only half the battle. The other half is connecting and making relationships just like offline; which really is not possible by being shy.
But you sure are right about being fearless and working towards it anyway because it is something that needs to be done (O:
I think what you said about the reason of shyness are very true. I know that from experience. I suffered clinical depression in the past. That’s the main reason why I prefer to be alone. I am not that sociable now. I do hang out with few friends, though.
The only solution in my opinion is to muster your forces and just do it. I know it is hard, but doing what you fear is the best solution.
Mouh recently posted..6 Tips to Protect your WordPress Blog
Just do it.
Amen to that my brother!
Oh, great post Adam… Although I have never considered myself to be shy, I was when I came online. That was from a lack of confidence for sure. Telling myself that I didn’t know enough so why would people comment on anything I had to say or they were so much better than I was because they knew more.
I had to just tell myself one day to heck with all of that and just put myself out there. So I did and I started actually commenting on the blogs I was visiting and a funny thing happened. People started responding and it had nothing to do with how smart I may or may not have been. People were just connecting to me, the person. What a wonderful feeling.
So my advice to all those who are trying to overcome this fear of shyness. Just do it. I held myself back for way too long and just made myself have to walk through the fear and just do it. I’m so glad I did too or I wouldn’t be where I am today.
Thanks for sharing this with us all. Fabulous post my friend, one everyone has had problems with at some point and time.
Adrienne
Adrienne recently posted..How To Start Working On Your Mindset
Adrienne,
Now that is some serious value added in the conversation. It is great that you always share your personal experience regarding the topic under the radar! One of the reasons why I never can really wait for what you say (O: I am being honest here Adrienne. I’d always be like – Let’s see what Adrienne has to say about this (O:
Thank you my friend for being so awesome!
Yes. I threw that in to create the controversy and get comments pro and/or con. See how a little controversy can have a positive effect. I try not to ferment negativity for sure.
And this helped Dan drop a bomb, a super explanation about actually learning from mistakes. That’s meat – Hell yes! Thank you Dan. I actually like your explanation better. When I first heard that phrasing it was in a real estate seminar where the speaker also had to explain what he was saying. I left the explanation part out on purpose.
And Adam, you are so right, shyness is everywhere. The degrees vary even in the same human depending on their activity/endeavor. Don’t think I don’t have it about some things too. Dealing with that is different for each person in each situation. That’s the beauty of life itself.
Big stuff y’all – this is deep – about life itself. I thank everybody for all this great insight.
At times I may not act very human (lol) but still maintain a membership in the human race, and man is it a race, a fun race. While we may not find out what time it is until we get to the finish line, the race itself is where the real fun is, win or lose. Always try and go for the win.
It’s about taking that lemon and adding some sugar and water.
Scannerman,
To tell you the truth, I also think some degree of controversy is always good to spark up some great conversations – as we can see here!
I am loving the community involvement here.
Thank you all.
You guys are the best (O:
Hi Adam,
In my opinion, shyness can occur because of psychological or physiological problems. Some people are shy because of their body images, some people are shy because they are just plain scared.
I was a shy and awkward teenager. If you ask my school mates they would recall me as “funny” looking guy ( with lots of weight) who is incredibly shy
I think shy people have a disadvantage because they are scared to ask, leading to lower salaries /businesscand recognition in life.I was at it , till I decided to change myself from college days. The journey has been difficult but I would say I have succeeded to quite a good extent. I think if we decide to have strength in our heart and go ahead we can overcome shyness.
PS these days when I meet my schoolmates, they are not able to recognize me
haha!!!
Ash,
Great that you pointed out shyness can occur because of physiological problems. These problems definitely adds more both negatively and positively on how people act.
It is true that some people have these psychological problems rooted so deep in them that it is not easy to overcome it instantly. Just do it; that’s what many here say and I say the same thing but when the problem is immense, it is not really as easy as it seems.
It would take time, dedication and most important of all one has to identify the problems one by one and start working on the solution, one by one..
Thank you for sharing your experience here buddy! I also had a similar kind of experience during my school days and it wasn’t pretty at all.
Appreciate your comments my friend and keep on rocking !
Ashvini, you hit the nail on the head with that one. I was a 185 pound 12 year old who was very conscious of his weight from the ridicule it brings from others my age who can be very cruel when unchecked. The class bully then added to that. I was lucky enough to grow straight up from 5’8″ to over 6′ without gaining a pound during my 8th and 9th grades. It took athletics after that to finish that part of the job.
Hi Scannerman,
Congratulations to you for coming out of your shyness. I think we all should lookout for shy and introvert people and mentor them. We can really make a difference to a few lives.
Thanks for sharing your story
Dear Adam, and Dear Ashvini,
Thank you for nice post. Wonderful points. People need to overcome their shyness, especially bloggers. How would they otherwise be able to pass their message and embrace success?
I completely agree with you Ash about the psychological reason behind shyness. I feel that the pressure of being perfect increases this feeling, too. I have also once written a post about perfectionism in my psychology blog.
PS: I was never a shy boy in my school or teenage time and am now getting bolder and bolder..:)
Swami Balendu recently posted..Religious Education in Schools could be dangerous for our Children – 21 Jul 11
The Religious Education article hits home hard. Like it or not Swami is telling the truth here. And the article about perfectionism also rocks.
Thank you, Swami.
Swami,
Pressure of being perfect. No doubt! Now that is some great insights my brother.
I just read your article on perfectionism. And it is simply amazing. You waylay it out there my friend.
It is funny how all these things happen around the world, every second of a day, based on religion when the basics of all religions is what Swami points out in his post. Let me include the snippet right here:
Every religion teaches things such as not to lie, to speak the truth, to respect life and to live with love and equally to the people surrounding you
Respect!
Dear Swami Balendu,
That was a wonderful article. I seriously believe, perfection is an impossible goal. It only adds to ego and hurts us and so many others. Your insights on perfection are great.
Ashvini recently posted..Facebook vs Google ( plus ) :The battle continues
Hi Adam,
I think whey you start your blogging life and you’re new then you hesitate to share your thoughts and knowledge with experienced blogger as you think they might find something wrong and it’ll put bad impression on them. In my opinion that’s the main reason behind the shyness.
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So very true Riya. I think people worry too much about things like that.
I faced the same scenario when I first started blogging (O: But after a while, I fully understood what my problem was – I was trying to impress everyone out there…Well, pretty soon I realized that there is no way in hell I can please everyone so I focused on doing what mattered most – putting out good content on a regular basis (O: And of course knowing that no one is perfect, not even the probloggers, also helped me a lot to keep on truckin’
Thank you for stopping by my friend.
Talk soon!
Another way to help with your shyness is to follow this site and check out the archives. Adam has laid out a lot of great stuff that can positively affect your gettin your blog on as well as some super life lessons. The community here adds to that. It’s deep and so is he.
It’s the dash for the ice cream. Y’can’t beat that!
Hell yes!
Hey Scannerman,
I truly appreciate that my friend. That really means a lot to me (O:
I am eating some right now…Beer float (O:
Ice cream on beer? I am not shy anymore. Please send some here
Ashvini recently posted..Facebook vs Google ( plus ) :The battle continues
[...] about involvement, if you haven’t had a chance to read my previous post, How Do You Overcome Blogging Shyness? and participate in the discussion please do so. Your input really means a lot to me and the whole [...]
Hi…I know this blog can be an inspirational to all bloggers who are still hesitant for their post…Thanks!!
Clark Minn recently posted..How to Get Rid of Belly Fat for Men
Hi there. Thanks for sharing these nice tips. It’s going to be very useful for those who are still in a big doubt, whether to post their articles or not. Well, I’ve overcome it few months ago anyway.
Andrew Walker recently posted..CarRentals Coupon Code
Thanks for the tips! Shyness is definately something I have been working on. I look for others things to do instead of writing posts and articles.
I am working on getting better at this though and overcome the shyness.
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Adam,
Great post!
I think that I’m along those same lines than what others have already said: knowing your stuff what you are talking about and becoming more experienced (when you get older).
Those are the ways that have helped me to beat the shyness.
Another thing is that you shouldn’t feel guilty of promoting yourself. Of course, not too much though, but sometimes that may be the only way to learn about new possibilities around you and perhaps even new doors will open for you.
Timo
Timo Kiander recently posted..Dramatically boost your productivity by these two techniques
Hi Adam
Thiru here, fully observed your post here. yeah. Everybody got shyness at some time of life. In my opinion, “Comparison” creates much shyness. When i compare myself with a popular blogger, i get shy to tell my thoughts in front of him. it suits for all concept. But to avoid shyness, we need to stop comparing ourselves with other. Because no one can play our role better than us.
So always as a blogger, we try to do our best and the best will come to us. (for info – still i am having shyness to talk with girls..
)
Cheers !!
Thiru recently posted..Bewilder Animals – iPhone Puzzle Game as its Best
[...] days ago, I asked my readers here How Do You Overcome Blogging Shyness? And YOU (the readers of this blog) delivered your thoughts, experience and insights. Today, I [...]
I like the way you motivate the shy bloggers.. I like your insight on what benefits could they get on overcoming your shyness.. Thank you so much for this helpful blog.. Be back for more..
melody recently posted..Best Car Insurance Rates
Shyness can be sign that a person is week… Do you want to be called weak??Of course not…You have to be strong and show what you’ve got…
Cher Shives recently posted..Forex trading automated software
I really admire those bloggers that has the guts to say whatever they want to say in public.. I really hope your tips could help me.. Thank you for sharing!
Helen Chris recently posted..Black Mould: What are the Symptoms?
Just like that..But I like your post so true and honestly it help a lot of people who view your site..:):)
Rowena recently posted..Who We Are
Wow! Thanks for sharing this. This is very helpful to me. And I think I have that disorder. That excessive shyness. Thanks for this. Very helpful.
Noraiza Braun recently posted..What is a Cell Phone Tracker?
This is so true, and so hard to do, with all of the distractions that seem to be built into modern life. There seems to be this need to maximize every moment of every day, and that we’re somehow slacking off if we’re constantly involved in some sort of communication, superficial though it may be.
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